Category Archives: Writing & Blogging

The Alt Rock Chick is full of surprises. After painstakingly working through the terms conditions she established to protect her privacy, and after testing our chat set-up the day before the interview, I woke up the morning of the interview to a message from her that read, “Why don’t you just come over to my place and do the interview here?”

Situations like these are why the word “flabbergasted” was invented. A live interview was never on the table due to her privacy concerns. Her website bio states clearly, “Please do not invite me anywhere or ask to meet me, because that ain’t gonna happen.” Despite my irritation, there was no doubt that I’d take her up on the offer. The reason for her change of heart will become apparent later in the interview.

We set a time, she sent directions and I arrived at her home in the Queen Anne neighborhood of Seattle on a shockingly cold Saturday afternoon. It’s a small three-bedroom bungalow subtly retrofitted for life in the 21st century while preserving traditional charm. Matisse prints dominate the art on the walls. Comfortable modern leather furniture graces the living room, organized around a small stone fireplace and an abstract wool rug. The design is clean and uncluttered but somehow warm and cozy.

After offering me a choice of coffee or wine, she asked if I wanted to see where she writes her reviews. I followed her down the hall a short way to a bedroom she had converted to a music room, where a single Ekornes leather recliner is surrounded by an impressive array of audio equipment, all recognizably high-end. I saw both studio quality monitors and a pair of Ultrasone Pro 900 headphones that I’d coveted for a long time. Behind the recliner against the wall opposite the 27” iMac that serves as the music hub I saw a Korg keyboard, an Ovation Elite, a Fender Stratocaster and a Fender Twin Reverb amp beneath wall length shelves containing vinyl, CD’s and a flute case. “I didn’t know you played!” I blurted out. She laughed and said, “Not professionally.” Despite the sheer amount of stuff, the room was very well-organized and, like the living room, was surprisingly free of clutter.

She took me back into the living room and excused herself to get the coffee (for me) and the wine (for her). In the meantime, I completed my set-up, using a small mike to record the proceedings to my laptop. When she returned, two other impressions surfaced to consciousness. While she is on the small side in terms of stature (about 5’ 4” in my estimate), she has a lithe body that moves with remarkable grace and makes her seem much taller. The second impression is that her pictures fail to do her justice: she’s an extraordinarily beautiful woman with a soft pink glow to her skin, and eyes that seem to flutter in color between emerald and sapphire. Her makeup was done with European subtlety and her hair strikingly and naturally blonde, with slight variations of red and tan. She wore a royal blue silky long sleeve blouse, black slacks and, in one concession to Seattle custom, a pair of black ballet slippers.

I turned on the recording software, and though I had diligently outlined the areas I wanted to cover in the interview, I started the interview with a spontaneous thought.

RM: You don’t look anything like Shelby. (Shelby is the name of the character in Ringing True whose name ARC borrowed to protect her anonymity.)

ARC: And I wouldn’t be caught fucking dead in a wool hat! (Laughs.)

RM: I’m sorry, but . . . I don’t mean to be rude . . . but you’re really a very beautiful woman.

ARC: Thank you. You should see the way I look at work! No make up, tits flattened with an athletic bra, frumpy Seattle-chick clothes, retro glasses. Hot!

RM: Wow. Well, I hate to open an interview with a personal question that may be a bit sensitive . . .

ARC: I already know you want to fuck me. Is there anything else I can do for you?

RM: I wanted to know how old you are.

ARC: (Laughs.) I’m not embarrassed. I’m thirty-one, turning thirty-two in August.

RM: Well, what amazes me about that is you have such extensive knowledge of music spanning over a half-century and it’s hard to reconcile the extent of your knowledge with your age.

ARC: Not really. A lot of it came from growing up in an environment where music was a constant part of everyday life. From morning ‘til bedtime, my parents were always playing music, all kinds of music. We hardly ever watched television, and even then there was always music on somewhere. When I got into my tweens I got a Walkman for Christmas and I think that’s when the obsession became personal and passionate. Headphones are the greatest invention ever, because they allow you to wrap yourself in music. In high school, I didn’t go in for all the stupid shit teenagers do, and in every spare moment I was listening to or reading about music. When I crossed over into adulthood, nothing really changed. I don’t do the stupid shit most people do, so I have lots of time to indulge my passions.

RM: “Sex, music and baseball, in that order.” (I was quoting from her bio on her website.)

ARC: (Laughs.) You remembered! I’ve never owned a television, I rarely go to the movies and I don’t keep up with the news unless something grabs my attention. That gives me a lot of time to do what’s important to me.

RM: How much does your work interfere with that?

ARC: More than I’d like, but I don’t stress out about it like most people. When I leave at the end of the day, I put it completely out of my mind. It’s not really that difficult, because I don’t find work particularly demanding. I think business is boring and really pretty easy to figure out if you have half a brain.

RM: How did you get into business?

ARC: It wasn’t intentional. I majored in International Studies in college, minored in French, and most of the jobs for people with that kind of background are in business. My main priority was to find a company that had operations in France because I have relatives there and I’d always had it in the back of my mind that I’d like to live there some day.

RM: And how did you wind up in Seattle?

ARC: Simple. That’s where the job was. I went to college in Claremont and there was no way I was going to stay in LA, and I was kind of done with The City and couldn’t afford it anyway, so here I am. Seattle has a way better music scene, so it worked out.

RM: Speaking of music . . . From what I saw in the music room, you’ve had some training in the field.

ARC: Both my parents play. My dad plays acoustic guitar, like every guy who wanted to get laid in the 60’s, and my mother plays flute and piano. The flute was her ticket to the USA, as she was classically trained in France and had scholarship offers from all over the world. The funny thing is after a year or two in Berkeley, she said screw that and to do a double major in Italian and Spanish. I’ve always suspected that it was Ian Anderson’s fault. His flute playing blew her mind, as they used to say.

RM: So what music training have you had?

ARC: Well, my mother is pretty much my role model, so I studied flute, piano and voice from about eight to eighteen, primarily classical and jazz. When I hit puberty, though, I wanted something hot, so I saved up my money and got a cheap ass Mexican Strat and a little Pignose amp and had my dad show me some chords. Later I saved up for a Rat Pedal to get more distortion. I couldn’t play worth shit, but I fucking loved making noise!

RM: How do you think your musical training has influenced your reviews?

ARC: That’s a trickier question than you think. Most people, self included, find music theory and the language of music theory boring, and in a world where a lot of musicians get by without being able to read a note, references to music theory come across as elitist. There a few times I’ve referred to triplets, half rests, time signatures, legato and that kind of stuff, but only when I can’t figure out a more . . . accessible way to describe what I’m hearing. I think where it helps is behind the scenes, to help me visualize the structure. I’ll hear a song and I just have to figure out the chords and the melody to see how they did it. Occasionally I’ll be so fascinated by something I’m hearing that I’ll download the score and read it. Still, I think the more important aspect of music is the impact it has on the listener rather than how some old farts used to notate it centuries ago. That’s what I try to capture in my reviews.

RM: Ever play in a band?

ARC: (Laughs.) I played in the school band or orchestra all the way through high school, but I think what you mean is a rock band. Yes, I did. In high school I was drafted by a bunch of guys at school to be their lead singer. It was a proto-power-pop-punk band called Twisted Arches. We played a few non-paying gigs, that’s about it. I kind of liked being the center of attention, but I quit after about six months. The rest of the band just wasn’t serious enough about music, and the guys were just like Amanda Palmer described them: they’re only into music because they think it will get them blow jobs. To make great music, you have to be committed to it, and these guys weren’t, and I didn’t want to waste my time with them. I mean, it wasn’t like I wanted to be a rock star or anything. It was just one of those things that happen, you say yes, you find out it sucks, you move on. Rock musicians are generally pretty flaky. I’d rather listen to them from a distance.

RM: I’ve read your description of how you go through new releases and decide which to review. Can you describe what you’re listening for?

ARC: It’s easier to describe what I don’t want to hear. Number one is excessive echo on the voice. As soon as I hear that inflated sound field that’s so disgustingly popular today, I move on. I don’t like Metal at all. Or Rap. Or Hip-Hop. If I hear loops of manufactured drum and bass, I usually skip to the next artist. So, I think that what I’m listening for is authentic human sound . . . no, that’s not right, because I do like some electronica, like Imogen Heap, and I just gave the Pyyramids a great review . . . You know, I think it probably has more to do with that commitment I talked about . . . I listen for that commitment. I don’t know how to describe it any better.

RM: How do you select Classic Music Reviews?

ARC: That started out with what I now call Unappreciated Gems. I did The Move, Alejandra Guzman, and other artists that Americans have ignored. Then one day something from The White Album came up on my iPod rotation, and I got pissed off and wrote a review where I reconstructed it to turn it into a halfway decent record. Then I thought I might as well do the rest of The Beatles, since they’re really my favorite band ever, and then it kind of snowballed from there. But now I have a plan! When I was on those long flights last month I made a list of all of the albums and artists I want to review. There’s like 250 of them! So, it’s a situation where the goal emerges from what you’re doing instead of starting out with a clear idea of where you’re going. What I want to do now with Classic Music Reviews is to cover the albums and artists whose music has had the greatest impact on me, so that’s going to take me places where I haven’t gone before: jazz, classical, country. But most of what I like is rock and its derivatives, so I’ll still be the Alt Rock Chick.

RM: Do you remember the first music that ever had an impact on you?

ARC: Very definitely. I was like five or six years old, playing Go Fish or Candyland or something like that with my dad on the living room floor and Strawberry Fields came on. That opening passage with the Mellotron suddenly woke up all kinds of feelings in me: sadness, the desire to be close to people, a vague feeling that life is fragile. That’s me describing it now, of course. At the moment, I was just absolutely mesmerized by that sound and the way it made me feel inside. I didn’t have the words for it, but I felt it. It’s still my favorite song of all-time.

RM: I noticed that you said you’d review the music with the greatest impact on you, rather than the music with the greatest impact on musical history or the development of music in general. Why?

ARC: Well, who the fuck am I to decide who’s influential and who’s not? Sorry if I sound bitchy, but this is a hot button. I can only relate to the music by how it impacts me. I have reviewed so-called influential albums that I thought were seriously overrated, and I’ll probably continue to do that if I feel that someone has to provide a different take. I think a lot of the so-called great albums are only great because we’ve been programmed by the know-it-alls in the music press to think they’re great. Since those suckers sold out to the industry long ago, they’re hardly reliable sources of information. What I’m not going to set myself up to be judge and jury and try to define people’s tastes. Everybody needs to figure that out for themselves. What I try to do is give them my perspective and hopefully that will help them clarify their perspective. That’s why I call my lists “favorites” and not “best of.” My reviews reflect only my tastes, period. All reviews are personal and reflect the personal bias of the reviewer. I wish other reviewers would acknowledge that. (Takes a drink, pauses, laughs.) Okay, I’m done ranting.

RM: About your reviews: many of your reviews contain sexual references and every now and then you’ve posted nude pictures of yourself. Do you ever worry that this will cause people not to take your music reviews seriously?

ARC: It’s crossed my mind, but why can’t a woman have a hot pussy and a brain? The two are not mutually exclusive. In fact, I think my intelligence makes me sexier and my sexuality enriches my intelligence. Women should never be afraid of their sexual power. We have to be careful at work and we have to watch out for sickos and guys who are all dicks and no brains, but in our natural state, we should let ourselves go. If people can’t deal with a woman who’s both hot and smart at the same time, they’re losers and they can go fuck themselves. The only negative effect so far is that I was getting so many weird e-mails that I took the e-mail link off the blog and I never check that account anymore, but it wasn’t used by musicians that much anyway. I wish I could get rid of it but I need YouTube and Google makes you connect everything. I think Google’s just as creepy as some of the losers who sent me those e-mails.

RM: Uh, I saw a little interchange on Twitter between you and my friend Mary Moore over some advice a Princeton grad gave to female undergrads . . .

ARC: Oh, that “women have a shelf life, better grab a man quick” bullshit?

RM: Yes.

ARC: Another total loser.

RM: What advice do you have for young women today?

ARC: (Laughs.) I’ll share my first reaction, then I’ll try to take your question seriously. First piece of advice: always make sure you’re fucking a dentist and a dermatologist. That way you never have to worry about your teeth or skin.

RM: What else you got?

ARC: (Laughs.) Don’t read that stupid book Fifty Shades of Grey, because it’s total bullshit written by someone who doesn’t know dick about S&M? (Laughs.) Okay, I’ll get serious. Hmm. I’d give young women the same advice I’d give anybody. Listen to yourself, find yourself, be yourself and respect the right of others to do the same.

RM: Any thought of getting married someday?

ARC: (Laughs.) I don’t think that’s possible until they legalize polygamy. I like having a steady relationship with one woman and one man at the same time, and I don’t think that’s going to change, so I don’t see the point of marriage given my sexual preferences, and I absolutely do not want children.

RM: Let’s move on to your writing.

ARC: Before we do that, I need to pee. Then I want to have a cigarette. Do you mind? If you do, you can leave now. (Laughs.)

RM: No, I don’t mind.

End of Part One